Weddings. A time for joy, celebration, two families coming together and making memories.
Or not, in the case of the marriage between Olympian Adam Peaty and Holly Ramsay, daughter of celebrity chef Gordon and his wife Tana. Peaty’s poor mother Caroline was ‘NFI’, as the kids say, to the lavish nuptials at Bath Abbey last Saturday. How cruel: we all know how parents of gifted athletes suffer, from the financial sacrifice, the early mornings, the time spent waiting by the track or pool, nurturing their little darling’s career.
The ostensible reason for the wedding snub is that, having been banished from the Soho Farmhouse hen do – and really, what mother-in-law is ever welcome to such a thing? – Caroline, along with several aunts, told the Daily Mail of her disappointment at being excluded.
And so her seat at the top table was swiftly reassigned along with most of the Peaty family’s – bar sister Bethany, who served as a bridesmaid at the breathtakingly beautiful ceremony.
The wedding photos, once silver-framed in a cluster and placed on a baby grand (it’s so common to have them enlarged as posters, or snaking up the stairs in a gallery) will now serve as a constant reminder that the couple should now better be known as Mr and Mrs Petty after so coldly excluding Adam’s parents from such an important occasion.
I suspect the real reason the mother of the groom was shelved is in fact the good old English class system. Working-class people expect wealth and fame, once achieved, to bring friends and ease, allowing them to shed any harsh skin they’ve developed on their journey to success. Poor-boy-done-good Adam may have shed his skin – but in doing so he only reminds me of a snake.
Those who amass wealth but are not born with it are always fearful that one day someone will take it away. Many no longer treat their families and old friends as equals, instead obsessing over material things. Whereas wealth inherited over generations means objects and houses are mere backdrops to a life well lived, not the be all and end all.
The real reason why Caroline Peaty was shelved is of course the good old English class system, writes Liz Jones
Adam Peaty and Holly Ramsay leaving Bath Abbey after the ceremony. Adam’s sister Bethany, who was one of Holly’s bridesmaids, was the only Peaty family member to attend
Father of the bride Gordon Ramsay allegedly made reference to his son-in-law’s family feud during a speech
Unlike the Ramsays, Adam’s family have humbler roots, with Caroline having worked as a nursery manager and Mark as a carer
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‘It’s as if they’ve cut my heart out’: Adam Peaty’s mum reveals anguish before wedding
Look at David Beckham, a guest at the wedding along with wife Victoria, who designed the bridesmaid dresses. David, like Gordon Ramsay, amassed wealth through his own grit and talent, but now tries to emulate the poshos, wearing Harris tweed and flat caps, leaning on a walking stick to pose for Country Life.
Adam Peaty – whose father, Mark, worked as a carer, while mum Caroline was a nursery manager – has surely fallen into precisely the same trap.
After he shunned his family, his mum and aunties did a very working-class thing by speaking out about being hurt. Why was he surprised – has he never watched EastEnders? The cast members say the word ‘family’ more times than you’ll ever hear from characters on Downton Abbey.
Adam’s aunt, Louise, even sent a text as Adam prepared to walk down the aisle: ‘I hope you never suffer the depth of pain you have put your mother through and despite it all she loves you still. Shame on you both. Shame. Remember on this, your happiest day, and on each anniversary of your happiest day, that you hurt your mum so deeply her soul screams.’
Caroline talked of crashing the wedding, but Mark persuaded her not to: that really would have been an Albert Square ‘doof, doof, doof’ moment.
Adam has been blinded by the glamour of marrying into the world of celebrity, without realising that the A-listers he so admires are just as shallow, defensive and unclassy as anyone else. How he will regret restyling himself ‘Adam Ramsay Peaty’ – yet another snub to the good people who raised him.
While he claims he has been ‘saved’ by his tacky in-laws and has suddenly found religion, surely showing gratitude to the people who raised him would be the most Christian, and certainly the classiest, thing he could do now.
