THE SOCIETY WIFE’S STORY: ‘Seeing a photo of my husband at a mountain taverna as I fretted over our daughter’s birthday and sports day back home was too maddening!’

Lady Laura Cathcart, 40, publicly branded her husband William Cash a ‘p****’ last week for posting a photo of himself enjoying a beer in Austria, as she was busy at their children’s sports day and planning their daughter Cosima’s ninth birthday party. Here, she explains what made her snap…

As so-called Chatelaine of Upton Cressett Hall – a Grade I-listed Elizabethan property in Shropshire that can sleep up to 22 guests – I am an events organiser, cook, party planner, interior designer as well as wife.

Lady Laura and her husband William Cash at their Grade I-listed Elizabethan Upton Cressett Hall in Shropshire

The sight of my husband tucking into pudding at the Taverna Celtica, in the idyllic mountains of south Austria, was just too maddening to bear, writes Lady Laura 

But the other day, as well as my work as a milliner, I was doing my other job, as mother, preparing for my daughter Cosima’s ninth birthday.

But where, I asked myself, was my husband, William?

Instead of helping me make a Victoria sponge birthday cake just after dawn, long before all the children, pug, budgie and Burford Brown chickens woke up, or assisting our nanny to blow up a paddling pool, William was to be found bellowing commands from his study.

Though he takes his job as editor of the Catholic Herald extremely seriously, that day he was not needed at the office. He should have been with me, on duty as a co-parent to our kids.

In truth, he was hiding in his study so that he could watch cricket on television or order some more vintage bottles from Tanners Wine Merchants.

He certainly loves our daughter, and regularly proves it in his own way.

But my husband has only one main job. All the other ones required of family life – cooking, housekeeping, hosting, flower-arranging, present-buying, you name it, they all fall to me.

If he wasn’t so clueless, I would think this was premeditated. I realise I am far from the only mother who complains that their husband doesn’t have even the slightest clue about the details of domestic life. As for Cosima’s birthday, it didn’t cross his mind that party bags, presents, invitations, entertainment, cards and sprinkles for the ice cream needed to be arranged.

Whereas I’d been fretting for days, what do you think had been keeping William up in the middle of the night?

William Cash with Lady Laura and their children Rex and Cosima. He certainly loves his daughter, writes his wife, and regularly proves it in his own way

Lady Laura and William Cash at an event at Goodwood House last year. On his daughter’s birthday, it didn’t cross his mind that party bags, presents, invitations, entertainment, cards and sprinkles for the ice cream needed to be arranged

Upton Cressett Hall in Shropshire can sleep up to 22 guests. There, William has a study where he can watch cricket on television or order some more vintage bottles from Tanners Wine Merchants

He had simply been worried about planning a ‘working’ holiday (read: jolly!) to Austria to ‘review’ a religious music festival but where, I suspect, he was mostly sampling the local beer and strudel.

I was invited, but felt, as always, that I must stay behind.

Why is it that only the mother hens feel they must remain in the nest with the chicks?

The sight of my husband tucking into pudding at the Taverna Celtica, in the idyllic mountains of south Austria, was just too maddening to bear.

I posted a frustrated quip to his Instagram page, but quickly deleted it once the anger passed – although not before it had been spotted by the Daily Mail’s Richard Eden, who duly reported it.

To make me feel better, a friend said she recently took off her Birkenstock clog and threw it at her husband after she found him scrolling on his iPhone while she was left dealing with their three under-fives.

She fears she may have fractured his rib – at least I only cracked a bad joke.

WILLIAM’S (SORT OF) MEA CULPA: ‘When was sports day elevated to holy day status? And anyway, I’m going to school prize day to see Cosima dressed up as a bug!’

Here William, 57, who was previously married to jewellery heiress Ilaria Bulgari and Mick Jagger’s ex, Vanessa Neumann, tries to explain himself… or does he just make things worse?

When, back in chilly March, I was invited to attend a weekend music festival in Southern Carinthia, Austria in June, I consulted Laura, who was also invited.

The programme included a sung ‘jazz mass’ in the 14th Century pilgrimage cathedral of Maria Saal, with a choir switching between Latin and the lyrics of Jesus Christ Superstar.

William Cash was previously married to Mick Jagger’s ex, Vanessa Neumann

Here he is with another of his exes, jewellery heiress Ilaria Bulgari

Lady Laura posted a snippy and sarcastic comment online, berating her husband for missing sports day, he claims

After a decade of marriage, William has reflected on what the difference has been between his marriage to Laura (pictured) and his previous two failures

It sounded tempting, though it would still be school term-time.

I was duly given the green light by Laura and booked the air tickets. All was good until about three weeks before heading off when, to my horror, I realised it clashed with our children’s annual school sports day. My heart sank.

Regardless, I still decided to take the trip. However, I foolishly posted a few photos on Instagram: myself enjoying a beer after a sweaty hike up a Sound Of Music-style mountain. A photo of my host’s housebar was less well advised. Gleaming with silver cocktail shakers and vodka bottles, it made the bar at Claridge’s look like a railway kiosk.

No wonder that Laura responded by posting a snippy and sarcastic banter comment, berating me for missing sports day.

But what sort of social crime is missing sports day – an event elevated to ‘holy day’ status? Though it’s important, sports day is not a secular Holy Day of Civic Obligation.

Laura’s multi-tasking talents as a brilliant and over-worked milliner, chatelaine extraordinaire, mother, wife and holiday-let manager makes her my partner in crime, her husband writes

Lady Laura and William with Liz Hurley at a book launch in London in 2019

I made sure I was not absent for Cosima’s ninth birthday – overseeing a bouncy castle party with 25 adults and 30 children. Also, I’m attending school prize day and will be watching Cosima dressed up in a bug’s costume in The Lion King.

As someone who works from home several days a week, I see my children an awful lot more than my parents’ generation saw theirs.

After a decade of marriage, I have reflected on what the difference has been between my marriage to Laura and my previous two failures.

The key now – other than having pugs and children – is that my career as an author is no longer of particular importance to me. There are hundreds of overweight writers with a half-successful novel or book to their name. Anybody who cares about literary success above love must be mad. Now, my marriage, love and my family are the only things that matter to me.

Third time around has been best thanks only to the grace of God. Laura’s multi-tasking talents as a brilliant and over-worked milliner, chatelaine extraordinaire, mother, wife and holiday-let manager makes her my partner in crime – with laughter here at Upton Cressett making it often feel as if we are living above the set at Fawlty Towers.

Yes, I should have checked the school diary, but sports day will never be as important as our wedding anniversary.

Our tenth, this year, may not have been a trip to Venice (where we took our first holiday together in 2013) but was celebrated over two mugs of hot chocolate in the Costa cafe at Wolverhampton station en route to have dinner with friends in London.

Such is domestic bliss. A Costa cafe made us just as happy as if we’d gone back and celebrated in Florian, in Venice, Europe’s most overpriced bar.