Artist, 30, reveals she was 'broken' after she discovered a Friends-style pros and cons list her ex wrote about her after they split

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  • Laura Frances Heitzman, 30, from Manchester, revealed her horrific discovery
  • READ MORE: How a broken heart ‘is as deadly as a heart attack’, scientists reveal

A woman was left ‘broken’ after she discovered her boyfriend of eight years had written a pros and cons list about her personality – which may remind many of a plotline in the sitcom Friends.

Laura Frances Heitzman, 30, who lives in Manchester, said she found the list, which included 40 ‘awful’ reasons not to be with her, laying out on the dining room table of their shared home.

Laura and her ex separated in May, two weeks before she found the offending list on the table, seemingly undisguised. She has drawn parallels between her discovery and a plotline in the second series of Friends, when Ross makes a pro and con list about dating Rachel versus staying with his current girlfriend, Julie.

After reading the 11 ‘impersonal’ pros versus 40 cons which ‘attacked her character’, all imprinted on an A4 page, Laura said she had ‘never felt so awful’. 

Taking to TikTok, she posted a video of herself sitting in McDonald’s ironically captioned ‘POV: your ex writes a pros and cons list about you’.

Laura Frances Heitzman, 30, who lives in Manchester, pictured. She said she was left 'broken' by the cruel list, which included 40 cons

Laura Frances Heitzman, 30, who lives in Manchester, pictured. She said she was left ‘broken’ by the cruel list, which included 40 cons

Laura had been broken up with her ex for two weeks in May when she discovered the notebook laying undisguised on the former couple's table

Laura had been broken up with her ex for two weeks in May when she discovered the notebook laying undisguised on the former couple’s table

Users took to the comments to praise Laura as an ‘icon’ for her response.

Choosing not to confront her ex, the artist channelled her heartbreak into creativity and sells posters with ‘positive affirmations’ to inspire other women.

She now believes finding the list was ‘worth it’ because it ‘affirmed’ why she ended the relationship and plans to ceremoniously burn it.

Laura said: ‘I’ve never felt so awful about myself after reading it. It broke me completely.

‘I broke up with him because I didn’t feel loved and reading it confirmed to me that that was the case because how could anyone that loved you write anything like that? He just reduced me to a list.’

Another reason for the breakup was because her former partner forgot their eight year anniversary.

‘It was awful. It was quite fresh anyway and I loved him still. It wasn’t as if I broke up with him because I wanted to. I really wanted it to work. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever read.

‘It was on the table hanging out of his notebook. I don’t want to look through people’s belongings but something told me, read this and I opened it and burst into tears,’ she added.

Thankfully, she had a strong support network who rallied around her during the difficult time. 

In the American sitcom series Friends, Ross writes a pros and cons list to help him decide whether to be with Rachel or Julie that sparks outrage among the characters

In the American sitcom series Friends, Ross writes a pros and cons list to help him decide whether to be with Rachel or Julie that sparks outrage among the characters

Choosing not to confront her ex, the artist channelled her heartbreak into creativity and sells posters with 'positive affirmations' to inspire other women

Choosing not to confront her ex, the artist channelled her heartbreak into creativity and sells posters with ‘positive affirmations’ to inspire other women

‘My mum was coming over anyway and I literally cried in her arms. It was awful. She was amazing. She just said ‘you deserve so much better,’ she said.

‘On the pro [list] there were 11 points. [They were all] very impersonal.

‘The cons were almost 40 points. It was an A4 sheet front and back. [There were some] really awful ones.’   

Since finding the list nearly six months ago, she has since said it helped her to ‘move on’ and begin to heal.

Laura said: ‘Looking back I realised it was probably a good thing because I saw it and affirmed to me that I’d done the right thing.

‘I started to really move on from that moment. I knew I could never go back.

‘Sometimes when you break up with someone there’s always that little niggling feeling in the back of your mind of ‘should I go back? Have I done the right thing’?

‘It really made me realise that it was the right thing to do. I know that my mental health isn’t a burden. I know that I’m a great person.

‘I know if I can get through that I can literally get through anything.

‘My whole world fell apart but I’m so much happier now. It was all worth it just to be where I am now.’

The singleton admitted she never confronted her ex about the list but took it with her when she moved out of their shared home and plans to burn it.

Taking to TikTok , she posted a video of herself sitting in McDonald's ironically captioned 'POV: your ex writes a pros and cons list about you'

Taking to TikTok , she posted a video of herself sitting in McDonald’s ironically captioned ‘POV: your ex writes a pros and cons list about you’

Thankfully, Laura had a strong support network who rallied around her during the difficult time

Thankfully, Laura had a strong support network who rallied around her during the difficult time

'If I can do it, everyone can. It was awful but you do get through it. It's only temporary,' said the artist

‘If I can do it, everyone can. It was awful but you do get through it. It’s only temporary,’ said the artist 

‘I just knew that if I’d told him I’d seen it he’d most likely make me feel bad for looking through his lists.

‘I’d already broken up with him and he knew that I wasn’t going to want to get back together so I was really confused at why he wrote it. It was maybe to make himself feel better?

‘I don’t know if he wanted me to find it, which is another reason why I didn’t want to tell him I’d seen it.

‘I did take it when I moved. It was a way to tell him that I’d seen it without telling him that I’d seen it.

‘And as a reminder that I went through reading this awful list and I’m okay. I do need to let go of it and I’m going to burn it. I think it’ll be a really cathartic experience.’

The artist revealed that her work has helped her to develop a positive mindset and wishes to use her business to similarly inspire other women to overcome heartbreak.

Laura said: ‘Art has always been therapeutic for me anyway. My friend said to me ‘this is a really awful this time but you’re going to create a lot of great artwork out of it’.

‘When I got into that headspace it was just so lovely. I’d been feeling really awful for a few months and hadn’t had time to even think about creating.

Since finding the list nearly six months ago, she has since said it helped her to 'move on' and begin to heal. Laura pictured stood in front of her artwork

Since finding the list nearly six months ago, she has since said it helped her to ‘move on’ and begin to heal. Laura pictured stood in front of her artwork 

Another reason for the breakup was because her former partner forgot their eight year anniversary

Another reason for the breakup was because her former partner forgot their eight year anniversary

‘I never thought at that moment that I’d feel happy again. When you’re in the thick of heartbreak you literally can’t see past it, it’s impossible. It’s the worst feeling in the world.

‘If I can do it, everyone can. It was awful but you do get through it. It’s only temporary.

‘When relationships end and your ex partner is treating you badly and unfairly it’s always a blessing. We all feel better.

‘The collection is positive affirmations with a nice positive message behind it instead of a bitter one. It really helped me get into that mindset as well.

‘Just the thought of other people having that on their walls and feeling great when they see it and reminding themselves ‘maybe this is a tough day but you’ll get through it and things are going to be okay’.

‘I feel really grateful that I’ve been able to do that and connect with other women over it.’

Users took to the comments to praise Laura for her response to the list. One user said: ‘Icon, legend and the moment.’

Another user said: ‘Losing the dead weight ex was clearly a winner.’

A third user said: ‘Thank the Lord you left him and his sad little grey life so you can bloom and be the sunshine you are!’