BEL MOONEY IMAGINES: At 53, I'm in fabulous shape and like to flaunt it… But critics tell me I'm an attention seeker who should cover up. Are they right – or am I?

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Our brilliant advice columnist Bel Mooney has answered thousands of readers’ letters over the years. But what if the rich and famous turned to her for peerless advice about their own problems? 

Each week we invite Bel to look behind the headlines and ponder an imaginary celebrity dilemma that we have made up for her (tongue firmly in cheek). In turn, Bel will take the letter at face value, just as she does with all those that pour into her famous column each week.

She will give an honest answer – so celebrities and politicians, listen up! This week, we imagine what Heart Breakfast host Amanda Holden might write in a letter to Bel.

 

Dear Bel,

As a 53-year-old mother of two teenage girls, I am in better shape than most women my age. I’m not afraid to reveal my figure with daring fashion choices – plunging necklines and figure-hugging frocks. My social media is peppered with pictures of my taut stomach in bikinis – I have an intensive fitness regime, so why not show off my results? 

Recently I even posed naked in a radio station studio for a life-drawing session, leading to a colleague demanding I ‘put a top on’. But my generation of women won’t fade into the background. Why should we? 

However, not everyone thinks my lack of inhibition is such a good thing: my outfits have drawn thousands of complaints and critics have branded me an attention seeker who should cover up. Are they right – or am I?

From, Amanda

Amanda Holden, 53, has drawn praise and criticism for her lack of inhibition

Amanda Holden, 53, has drawn praise and criticism for her lack of inhibition

Recently Amanda posed naked in a radio station studio for a life-drawing session, leading to a colleague demanding she 'put a top on'

Recently Amanda posed naked in a radio station studio for a life-drawing session, leading to a colleague demanding she ‘put a top on’

Bel Mooney replies: Do you want the bad news first, or the good news? I’m afraid even the good news has a nugget of gloom at its heart. You’re beautiful. You have every right to enjoy being fit (in both senses of the word) for just as long as you can – though you should remember that nothing can stop the ageing process. No, not even an army of beauticians and aestheticians costing a Louis Vuitton trunkful of dosh. That’s how it is.

READ MORE: BEL MOONEY IMAGINES: Dear Bel, I fathered two love children when I played away. How do I solve this toxic mess? 

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And the really bad news? Someone, somewhere, will always criticise you because they’re a) jealous or b) just plain mean. And sometimes they will really hurt your feelings, even though you always hide it well. 

What will you do if a beloved family member whispers that your plunging necklines are just a little bit embarrassing for them? What you have to decide is how much you care.

How I’d love to know the sex of the colleague who instructed you to ‘put a top on’! I’m guessing female, or is that unfair? Sadly I know how catty women can be when they wave goodbye to sisterhood. 

Of course, it might have been an embarrassed male colleague officiously protecting your modesty. But I expect those ‘thousands of complaints’ come from men and women alike. I’d ask why they haven’t better things to do. Surely moaning at celebrities is the sign of a sad life?

So you ask me who’s ‘right’ – them or you. Since I’m an old-school feminist it may surprise you to know I am on your side. Why shouldn’t you be pleased with the face and figure you present to the world? 

I enjoy beauty in men and in women; it’s a great gift, after all. But are you ‘an attention seeker’? Most of us enjoy attention – and I admire a woman with the confidence to strut her stuff. But what happens when the attention’s the wrong sort? Be very careful. Don’t become so tough that you refuse to listen to those who wish you well.

Which takes me back to the good-bad news I gave you at the beginning. For now, your lack of inhibition is just fine, because you’re still gorgeous and I wish you the very best of luck. 

But honestly, looks change so fast and not even you can flaunt them for ever. You’ve a way to go yet, but the day will come when the low-cut tops really don’t do you any favours – and I hope you’ll be self-aware enough to recognise that moment. 

Always remember that the essence of what you have to give to the world should still be there when you can’t pull off looking sexy any more. Ask your daughters what that is. I reckon they’ll tell the truth.