A woman hoping to discover her son on Long Lost Family becomes emotional as she admits she ‘can’t ever expect love’ from the child she gave up for adoption when she was just 17.

In an exclusive clip shared with FEMAIL ahead of the ITV show’s second episode of its new series on Monday, Paula Beer, 74, from Bridgend in Wales, opens up about her search for her child.

The retired council worker was aged just 17 when she made the heart-breaking decision to part from her baby due to her strict parents’ reaction. She then spent the rest of her adult life searching for him.

Asking the Long Lost Family team for help, she emotionally explained: ‘I can’t ever expect love, but just knowing, seeing him, touching him, perhaps his hand, and knowing he has always been loved. For me that is everything.’ 

Paula had concealed her pregnancy, working long hours in a grocery store in nearby Porthcawl, and only saw a doctor when she was eight months along. She gave birth to her son, Paul, in February 1967.

A woman hoping to discover her son on Long Lost Family becomes emotional as she admits she ‘can’t ever expect love’ from the child she gave up for adoption when she was just 17. Pictured, Paula

She spent just three days with him in hospital before he was taken away, and recalled how giving Paul up for adoption was the ‘worst thing I’ve ever had to do in my life’. 

After discovering she was pregnant at the age of just 17, Paula came to the conclusion on her own that she’d have to have her baby adopted.

She told FEMAIL: ‘My father would’ve thrown me out, the shame and all the rest of it.  I made the decision to give [Paul] up for adoption, because he’d have a much better life, he’d have had a very unhappy life with myself and my parents.’

At seven months pregnant, Paula went to stay with a kind aunt in Essex, who helped to arrange the adoption. 

‘That was a very, very, very bad time in my life. It was the worst thing I’ve ever had to do in my life,’ recalled Paula.

She spent three days with her son before he was taken away to be adopted, ‘just looking at him, talking to him, hoping he’d remember my voice, knowing what I have to do and loving him as much as I could you know,’ said Paula.

‘It was a very, very hard time, and parting with him then… was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.’

She added: ‘From the moment I held him in my arms for the first time, the love I felt for him then was unbelievable. I didn’t think I would feel like that. And I knew I had to part with him. So I wanted not to feel like that.’ 

Frightened of her strict parents’ reaction, she had concealed her pregnancy, working long hours in a grocery store in nearby Porthcawl, and only saw a doctor when she was eight months along. Pictured, Paula’s baby

Paula Beer (pictured), 74, from Bridgend in Wales, opened up about her search for her child

The retired council worker was aged just 17 when she made the heart-breaking decision to part from her baby due to her strict parents’ reaction. She then spent the rest of her adult life searching for him

Paula later went on to marry and have a daughter but didn’t anticipate the pain of giving up her son would cause her, for the rest of her life. 

‘Every year on his birthday I light a candle for him, and watch the candle burn and say a prayer and ask God: “please, God, let me find him one day”,’ revealed Paula ahead of finding her son.

The Long Lost Family team eventually discovered Paul’s name had been changed to Jim, and traced him living in the southwest. 

It took Jim several months to decide whether he wanted contact with his birth mother, with the happily adopted psychiatric nurse saying on the show: ‘It was a mixed range of emotions, from happy to scary… you name it.’

But eventually Jim decided that he did want to meet his birth mother, and was delighted to discover she was Welsh, since he’s spent lots of time in Wales and loves it.

Paula – who also shares a love for music and the outdoors with her son – revealed she was ‘absolutely over the moon’ after discovering Jim.

Paula (pictured left) gave birth to her son, Paul (now named Jim, pictured right), in February 1967, spending just three days with him in hospital before he was taken away 

But thankfully, the Long Lost Family team located Paula’s son whose name had been changed to Jim, and found him living in the southwest. In emotional scenes, birth mother and son are reunited during episode two of the ITV programme on Monday. Pictured, Davina McCall with Paula

After discovering she was pregnant at the age of just 17, Paula came to the conclusion on her own that she’d have to have her baby adopted. Pictured, Nicky Campbell with Jim

She recalled: ‘The first thing I said to Davina McCall was “Is he OK?” And she said: “Yes, he’s very, very happy.” And I said: “Oh, thank god for that.” And I said: “Does he want to meet me?” That’s my second question. She said, “Yes”.

‘My worst fear was that he didn’t want to meet me, and that he’d been perfectly happy with his life so far, that he didn’t want me in it, or want to meet me. And that does happen.

‘So I have been so, so lucky. I thank God every single day, get down on my hands and thank God for my son.’

Recalling their emotional reunion with one another, Paula said it was ‘wonderful’, with the pair sharing an affectionate hug. She even admitted: ‘I would have stayed there forever with him in my arms.’

Retired council worker Paula Beer (pictured with her son), 74, from Bridgend in Wales, was aged just 17 when she made the heart-breaking decision to part from her baby – but spent decades after looking for him

‘We sat down and he held my hands the whole time… It was totally, totally amazing. He’s the son I would have designed for myself. He’s perfect for me, to me, with me in every way. 

‘He’s my personality, a toned down version of me… I feel he’s been my son in my life, all my life.’

Following their experience on the ITV programme, the two now video call a few times a week.

Long Lost Family airs on ITV and ITVX on Monday July 15th at 9pm