News of a Footballers’ Wives reboot has set tongues wagging, 20 years after the original series of the beloved 00s show hit screens.
The programme became an instant classic thanks to the incredibly outlandish storylines, glamorous appearances and wild characters set against the backdrop of the fictional Premier League football club Earls Park FC.
Headed by Zoe Lucker as the vindictive yet fabulous Tanya Turner, the show ran for five seasons from 2002 to 2006 and comprised 42 episodes as well as all-star appearances from the likes of Joan Collins and Katie Price.
Other stars of the show included Gary Lucy as Kyle Pascoe, Susie Amy as his wife Chardonnay Lane-Pascoe, Gillian Taylforth as his mum Jackie Pascoe, Christian Solimeno as Tanya’s husband Jason Turner, Laila Rouass as Amber Gates and the late John Forgeham as Earls Park’s chairman Frank Laslett.
Footballers’ Wives gained legendary status with a slew of wild storylines, including an abundance of affairs, huge cocaine consumption, a boob-burning hen do inferno, a love child, a murderous romp and tragic deaths.
So what were the wildest stories on TV’s most ridiculous show?
Footballers’ Wives offered some of TV’s most wild storylines through five series stint (L-R: Gary Lucy as Kyle Pascoe, Susie Amy as Chardonnay Lane-Pascoe, Katharine Monaghan as Donna Walmsley, Nathan Constance as Ian Walmsley, Cristian Solimeno as Jason Turner and Zoe Lucker as Tanya Turner)
CHARDONNAY’S HEN DO INFERNO
During her hen do, ahead of her high-profile wedding to Earls Park golden boy Kyle, Chardonnay and her pals are harangued by drunken revellers
During her hen do, ahead of her high-profile wedding to Earls Park golden boy Kyle, Chardonnay and her pals are harangued by drunken revellers.
Tanya attempts to remove the men from the swanky hotel bar however they continue to force themselves upon the group, who all wore festive leis.
While trying to light his cigarette using a chandelier, one of the men – who Tanya dubbed ‘p**s artists’ – accidentally lit Chardonnay’s lei on fire.
The bride-to-be screams in horror as she is caught in a blazing inferno just days before her all-star wedding, which is set to feature in a glossy magazine.
The couple’s wedding was loosely based on the nuptials of Peter Andre and Katie Price, who later appeared on the show, thanks to the masses of pink, lavish decor and extremely over the top accents.
Tanya points out that Chardonnay’s dress had to be amended to hide her scars.
Left with her deep scars, Chardonnay then has an emotional breakdown after the wedding, in which she shears off her own hair and refuses to eat.
Tanya points out that Chardonnay’s dress had to be ammended to hide her scars
Left with her deep scars, Chardonnay then has an emotional breakdown after the wedding, in which she sheared off her own hair and refused to eat
Chardonnay and Kyle’s wedding was loosely based on the nuptials of Peter Andre and Katie Price, who later appeared on the show (Katie pictured with Tanya Turner)
BABY PADDY PASCOE
One of the strangest scenarios surrounding the Pascoes was baby Paddy
One of the strangest scenarios surrounding the Pascoes was baby Paddy.
Jackie conceived the baby with Kyle’s best friend Jason, following a shock romp on Kyle’s pool table which was one of many dalliances between the two.
Despite Jackie telling Jason she aborted their baby, he discovers she is producing milk – leading him to realise what had in fact happened and that he had become a father himself
After Jackie revealed to her son that she was expecting and Chardonnay discovered she would personally struggle to conceive, Jackie offered to give the tot to her son and his wife to raise as their own and ‘give him the life he deserves’.
After much back and forth, Kyle and Chardonnay decide to go ahead with adopting his half-brother, so they plot for Jackie to give birth in Florida while they pretend to the press and public that Chardonnay is in fact pregnant and giving birth in the US.
The group return from the US with the newborn and despite Jackie telling Jason she aborted their baby, he discovers she is producing milk – leading him to realise what had in fact happened and that he had become a father himself.
He promises to step up to the plate to be with Jackie and threatens to leave Tanya, until it is revealed that Paddy is hermaphrodite – meaning he has both male and female reproductive organs. Jason brands his son ‘a freak’.
Ultimately, Jason refuses all responsibility and the Pascoes continue their lie about being parents to Paddy, before Chardonnay’s untimely death.
Jackie’s steamy pool table romp with her son’s best friend Jason Turner culminated in her getting pregnant with Paddy, the hermaphrodite baby passed off as Kyle’s child
He promises to step up to the plate to be with Jackie and threatens to leave Tanya, until it is revealed that Paddy is hermaphrodite – meaning he has both male and female reproductive organs. Jason brands his son ‘a freak’
FRANK’S ATTACK
In the opening episode of the show, Jason is lied to about a new recruit on the team, he and wife Tanya attack Earls Park’s chairman Frank
In the opening episode of the show, Jason is lied to about a new recruit on the team, he and wife Tanya attack Earls Park’s chairman Frank.
After passing off the attack as a car accident, they frequently visit him in hospital, where Tanya discovers manic nurse Jeanette Dunkley has been raping Frank, who wakes up and discovers Tanya and Jason’s deceit.
Tanya is left horrified when she walks in on Jeanette on top of Frank in his comatose state while viewers saw the delusional nurse feigning a romance with him.
The group are soon locked in a court dispute, in which they claim Frank is losing his mind while protesting the innocence of the conniving couple.
They reach a settlement however Frank plots to make the Turners’ lives hell.
Nurse Jeanette Dunkley is revealed to be raping Frank
The group are soon locked in a court dispute, in which they claim Frank is losing his mind while protesting the innocence of the conniving couple
BABY SWAPPING AND PUNDARICK’S SMOTHERING
While Tanya and Amber fought for Conrad’s affections, they both fell pregnant at the same, with the former hiding the fact her baby was Frank’s
The Gates then enter the equation, when Tanya is married to Frank.
While Tanya and Amber fight for Earls Park newbie Conrad’s affections, they both fell pregnant at the same, with the former hiding the fact her baby was Frank’s.
Her late husband enjoyed posthumous revenge on his wife by piercing holes in their condoms, yet Tanya was determined to keep Conrad as her own.
Her late husband enjoyed posthumous revenge on his wife by piercing holes in their condoms, yet Tanya was determined to keep Conrad as her own
To ensure she could not be betrayed by a paternity test, Tanya enlists her long-time ally Jeanette to act as Amber’s personal nurse and swap the babies when they both arrived on the same day.
Jeanette is charged with swapping – making Tanya’s son Troy, Amber’s biological child and Amber’s son Pundarick, Tanya’s biological son.
In a bid to perfect her deceit, she forces Jeanette to apply fake tan to Pundarick, to give the child the appearance of being mixed raced, thus looking like he is biologically Amber’s child.
Tragedy strikes however, when Amber’s beloved dog Krishna smothers baby Pundarick in his cot – making Amber believe her own baby had died.
She then realises the truth and takes Troy away and renames him Phoenix, while Tanya is expelled from their life when Conrad realises the truth behind her actions.
Tragedy strikes however, when Amber’s beloved dog Krishna smothers baby Pundarick in his cot – making Amber believe her own baby had died
TANYA’S FATAL ROMP
Following Jason’s death at the hands of Chardonnay, Tanya marries her nemesis Frank as part of a business deal to help clear the debts left by her late husband
Following Jason’s death at the hands of Chardonnay, Tanya marries her nemesis Frank as part of a business deal to help clear the debts left by her late husband.
Having fallen in love with Conrad, the couple enjoy an affair which leads Tanya to want to kill her ailing husband to be with the football ace.
In a true moment of Footballers’ Wives madness, Tanya concocts a lethal combination of Viagra, alcohol and cocaine before having sex with him.
Frank desperately reaches for the phone to call for help as Tanya gazes at him with a maniacal look in her eyes and watches him die.
In a true moment of Footballers’ Wives madness, Tanya concocts a lethal combination of Viagra, alcohol and cocaine before having sex with him
TANYA’S LOVE OF ‘BOLIVIAN MARCHING POWDER’
Tanya’s cocaine use is a constant thread through the entirety of Footballers’ Wives, with many of her storylines featuring her love of the white stuff
Tanya’s cocaine use is a constant thread through the entirety of Footballers’ Wives, with many of her storylines featuring her love of the white stuff.
Her lengthy nails were frequently seen as her method of snorting, making for an iconic addition to her character and costume.
While she is faced with Jason’s incessant cheating throughout the show, Tanya has her own dalliance during a cocaine fuelled night of passion with her husband’s sporting agent, Hazel Bailey, played by Alison Newman.
In series two, she is sentenced to community service for possession before her cocaine use eventually leads to a crossover between the show and fellow ITV drama Bad Girls, based in a fictional prison.
Tanya was sentenced to five years for possession and sent to HMP Larkhall after the cocaine was planted in her handbag by her nemesis, Amber.
While she is faced with Jason’s incessant cheating throughout the show, Tanya has her own dalliance during a cocaine fuelled night of passion with her husband’s sporting agent, Hazel Bailey, played by Alison Newman
Footballers’ Wives: The most ludicrous show EVER?
Season one, 2002: A sexual predator nurse, coma-inducing attack, burnt breasts and a LOT of romps
Here come the girls: Helen Latham (Lucy Milligan), Zoe Lucker (Tanya Turner), Laila Rouass (Amber Gates) And Sarah Barrand (Shannon Donnelly)
Frank’s attack: After Jason Turner (Cristian Solimeno) is lied to about a new recruit on the team, he and wife Tanya attack Earls Park’s chairman Frank Laslett (John Forgeham). After passing off the attack as a car accident, they frequently visit him in court, where Tanya discovers manic nurse Jeanette Dunkley has been raping the boss, who wakes up and discovers Tanya and Jason’s deceit.
Chardonnay’s inferno: While celebrating her hen do before marrying Kyle Pascoe (Gary Lucy), glamour model Chardonnay Lane (Susie Amy) is approached by a group of drunken admirers wielding a candle stick. While attempting to light a cigarette, one of the gentlemen accidentally sets fire to the festive lei garland Chardonnay is sporting. Her chest is left severely burnt, leading to a breakdown for the model.
Season two, 2003: A hermaphrodite baby with a half-brother for a father, a fake rape allegation and a Champagne cliffhanger
Jackie and Jason’s baby: While breaking what was described as: ‘Rule one in the s***gers handbook’, Jason was indulging in one of his endless affairs – with his best friend Kyle’s mum Jackie. When Jackie discovers she’s pregnant, a mix-up meant Chardonnay believed it was she who was expecting. After much confusion, the family make the bold decision for the couple do adopt Jackie’s baby – although know one yet knows Jason is the father. Once it is announced, the family discover baby Paddy is a hermaphrodite – much to Jason’s disgust.
The Frank, Jason, Tanya Saga continues: In a bid to get away with their crime in the previous season, Tanya accuses Frank of raping her, however they are soon forced to settle outside court, much to the chairman’s chagrin.
Jason’s shock death: As the series concludes and Jason makes more and more enemies, he and Tanya decide to renew their wedding vows however she breaks up the ceremony by screaming at her husband. He then drunkenly heads to the roof where the menace suffers a slip, only for one of his many enemies to push him off using a Champagne bottle.
Season three, 2004: Death by anorexia, the introduction of the Gates clan and Frank’s being killed ‘by s**ging’
Chardonnay’s death: The show opens with Chardonnay’s funeral after she died having fallen victim to anorexia; however, it is later revealed that she was Jason’s killer and was also riddled with guilt.
Frank’s murder: In a bid to get rid of her beau Frank, after marrying in episode one, Tanya begins feeding him a lethal combination of Viagra, alcohol and cocaine before getting involved in energetic romping session – one of which eventually ends with his death – however he has the last laugh by piercing holes in their condoms and getting pregnant.
Season four, 2005: Baby swapping, a rapist’s kidnap and an Internet lover’s suicide pact ambitions
Oh dear: The baby swapping storyline was panned by critics
Baby swapping: Tanya swapped her own baby son Troy with Amber’s son Pundarik when they were expecting at the same time – supposedly with Conrad Gates’ baby – yet after Frank’s dying revenge of impregnating Tanya must push to make people believe Conrad is the father.
Darius gets his comeuppance: When the Earls Court gents go on holiday, it transpires one of the team raped one of the shot girls they partied with. Darius is unveiled as the rapist, so his victim Katie goes undercover as a nanny for Tanya before she kidnaps Darius on a boat to get her revenge.
Lucy’s botched escape attempts: When newbie Lucy Milligan attempts to get away from her controlling husband Bruno, she falls into the arms of a murderous doctor she met online. He tries to kill her in a suicide pact following his own wife’s death. When Conrad and Bruno try and save Lucy, Bruno accidentally shoots Conrad in a horror scene.
Season five, 2006: A VERY super star cast addition, a model’s destroyed good looks and a cannibalism scandal
Joan Collins arrives: Joining the cast was Joan Collins, who played Eva de Wolffe, the girlfriend of Earls Court’s latest bright star Paulo Bardosa. Tanya begins an affair with the hunk, shortly before she realises his bizarre relationship with Eva – as it transpires rather than be his lover, she is more an owner after rescuing him from a Brazilian orphanage.
Shattering news: Newbie footballer Tremaine Gidigbi and his stunning girlfriend Liberty Baker caused ructions when they entered the scene however their romance was shaken to its core when she starred in an advert in Japan which depicted her as a cannibal. After the controversy of the commercial, she is glassed in a nightclub – putting her modelling career in jeopardy
