Trinny Woodall admits her first spell in rehab ended prematurely after she was caught watching a pornographic video with other residents.
The TV stylist was in her twenties and in the grip of drug addiction when she submitted herself to a residential treatment programme for the first time.
But she claims it was a bruising introduction to in-patient therapy due to its confrontational approach and ended earlier than expected when she was ordered to leave for watching an X-rated film.
In an appearance on Steven Bartlett’s Diary Of A CEO podcast, Woodall, now 59 and more than 30 years sober, said: ‘That was a funny one, but not funny in the end. It was a terrible rehab.
‘Rehabs now are very different but it was a very, very shaming place. It would be closed down now. It didn’t have a very good way of dealing with things.
![Opening up: Trinny Woodall admits her first spell in rehab ended prematurely after she was caught watching a pornographic video with other residents](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/09/12/10/75326325-12508023-image-a-3_1694510053062.jpg)
Opening up: Trinny Woodall admits her first spell in rehab ended prematurely after she was caught watching a pornographic video with other residents
![Old times: The TV stylist was in her twenties and in the grip of drug addiction when she submitted herself to a residential treatment program for the first time (pictured right in 1984, when she was 20)](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/09/12/10/75327387-12508023-image-m-20_1694511981736.jpg)
Old times: The TV stylist was in her twenties and in the grip of drug addiction when she submitted herself to a residential treatment program for the first time (pictured right in 1984, when she was 20)
‘In that whole scenario there’s definitely a feeling of you’re thrown in with people you don’t know and you reveal your life. It was a time when you would write down your life story.
‘They did this stuff where they would get 20 people to critique how bad your life had been, in a room, and judge you for it. Looking back now that was the only way rehabs worked in the UK.
‘So when you bring up that porno film it was that sense of let’s do something funny because we’re having such a s****y time here, and it backfired and I was chucked out.’
Outwardly Woodall projected an image of success during her twenties, but her personal life was blighted by an addiction she says was fueled by a lack of self-confidence.
She said: ‘Things happen in your life that begin to fine tune and define who you’re going to be. I went through phases in my late teens and early twenties of turning to drugs because of not being happy with who I was, not knowing who I was.
‘Sometimes people turn to drugs because they don’t know who they are. They have an inner lack of confidence, and I definitely had an inner lack of confidence.’
After a series of spells in rehab she got clean as she approached her late twenties, a period she admits was a catalyst for significant change – both personally and professionally.
‘When I got clean at 26, 27, that was a huge beginning of the change in my life,’ she said. ‘I was so relieved that my twenties were over, so relieved. That was a big moment for me to begin to work out who I was – that was the first moment, probably.’
![Looking back: The TV stylist recalled the incident during an appearance on Steven Bartlett 's Diary Of A CEO podcast, available to watch on YouTube](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/09/12/10/75326327-12508023-Looking_back_The_TV_stylist_recalled_the_incident_during_an_appe-a-21_1694512046406.jpg)
Looking back: The TV stylist recalled the incident during an appearance on Steven Bartlett ‘s Diary Of A CEO podcast, available to watch on YouTube
![Revelation: After a series of spells in rehab she got clean as she approached her late twenties, a period she admits was a catalyst for significant change](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/09/12/10/75326321-12508023-image-a-11_1694510595479.jpg)
Revelation: After a series of spells in rehab she got clean as she approached her late twenties, a period she admits was a catalyst for significant change
But the TV personality’s treatment and early recovery was soured by tragedy.
She said: ‘I had three really good friends, and we were all using one night, and I said let’s make a pact and go to rehab tomorrow. Two of them had been, and one of them had never been.
‘The next morning I woke up and I still had that feeling, which is rare, so I called a therapist that I knew and I said I need to go but I have a window of opportunity that is so small, I need to go literally in the next two hours because I’m scared that I’ll change my mind. So he got me in somewhere, and I stayed for five months, and I sold what I had to pay for it.’
She added: ‘Some very tragic things happened in that time, and one of the people died, and then I went to a halfway house in Weston-super-Mare for seven months, where you kind of live off £8 to £10 a week, it pays for your fags, and I worked in an old people’s home.
‘I came back to London a very different person, then in that following year another friend died, then in another two years they’d all died.’
![Emotional: Woodall also opened up about her ex-husband's suicide, saying it was hard to understand how someone so obsessed with their children's welfare would end their life](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/09/12/12/75288711-12508023-Emotional_Trinny_Woodall_has_opened_up_about_her_ex_husband_s_su-a-25_1694519092877.jpg)
Emotional: Woodall also opened up about her ex-husband’s suicide, saying it was hard to understand how someone so obsessed with their children’s welfare would end their life
![Devastating: The presenter said she didn't get to grieve for Johnny Elichaoff until six months ago - eight years after his death - when their daughter Lyla left home](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/09/12/12/75288713-12508023-Devastating_Trinny_said_she_didn_t_get_to_grieve_for_Johnny_Elic-a-27_1694519114851.jpg)
Devastating: The presenter said she didn’t get to grieve for Johnny Elichaoff until six months ago – eight years after his death – when their daughter Lyla left home
Woodall also opened up about her ex-husband’s suicide, saying it was hard to understand how someone so hyper-obsessed with their children’s welfare convinced himself they were better off without him.
The beauty entrepreneur and TV presenter said she didn’t get to grieve for Johnny Elichaoff until six months ago – eight years after his death – when their daughter Lyla left home, leaving her alone.
Johnny, who also had a son Zak from a previous relationship, took his life in 2014 aged 55.
Although he was known to have suffered a series of failed oil investments before his death, Woodall said he was going through such turmoil that he’d convinced himself his children were better off without him – despite his hypervigilance over their welfare.
The former What Not To Wear presenter, whose Trinny London business is valued at £180 million, told Monday’s Diary of a CEO podcast: ‘Johnny had hypervigilance around his children because he had been in the Israeli army and he was a paramedic.
![Hard to process: Woodall said he was going through such turmoil that he'd convinced himself his children were better off without him - despite his hypervigilance over their welfare](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/09/12/12/75288721-12508023-Hard_to_process_Trinny_said_he_was_going_through_such_turmoil_th-a-29_1694519165442.jpg)
Hard to process: Woodall said he was going through such turmoil that he’d convinced himself his children were better off without him – despite his hypervigilance over their welfare
![Tragic: Johnny, who also had a son Zak from a previous relationship, took his life in 2014 aged 55](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/09/12/12/75288715-12508023-Tragic_Johnny_who_also_had_a_son_Zak_from_a_previous_relationshi-a-31_1694519185193.jpg)
Tragic: Johnny, who also had a son Zak from a previous relationship, took his life in 2014 aged 55
![There she is: Woodall made an appearance on Tuesday's edition of This Morning, where she promoted her new book](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/09/12/13/75333041-12508023-image-a-32_1694521471276.jpg)
There she is: Woodall made an appearance on Tuesday’s edition of This Morning, where she promoted her new book
‘And he had from it post-traumatic stress disorder which wasn’t diagnosed until about 20 years later.
‘But one of the things also is hypervigilance around his children, so he was always so worried for their welfare.
‘So you kind of have this thing of where do you get to in your brain, when you are so worried about your children, that you can convince yourself that the best thing for your children, who you love profoundly, is that you’re not in their life anymore?
‘And that is something that is so important that we can help people who get to that situation – that they don’t get to that final part of that situation.
‘It’s understanding what to recognise, and it’s very hard to recognise. I didn’t recognise. There were lots of details of it which could have really upset me, of things that were done wrong. But you kind of have to let go.
‘You need to work through these stages and not get stuck in something which eats you up.’
She added: ‘Every person who has had somebody commit suicide will at some stage say “was there anything I could have done to stop it?”‘
![All mine: The TV stylist posed with the self-help book, titled Fear Less, backstage at ITV studios](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/09/12/13/75333043-12508023-image-a-33_1694521522515.jpg)
All mine: The TV stylist posed with the self-help book, titled Fear Less, backstage at ITV studios
![Let's talk: She chatted about her new venture with This Morning hosts Holly Willoughby and Dermot O'Leary](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/09/12/13/75333045-12508023-image-a-34_1694521551342.jpg)
Let’s talk: She chatted about her new venture with This Morning hosts Holly Willoughby and Dermot O’Leary
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