Was there ever such a pair of quitters as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex? 

First, they leave Britain after just 18 months of royal life; then they abandon practically every project they embark on Stateside; now they’re back here again for unknown reasons – and already, just a few weeks into their new life, things are starting to unravel.

Do they never look before they leap? Do they always act on impulse, like headstrong teenagers? Do they never plan a few moves ahead, or try to solve their problems instead of flouncing from one place to the next?

Every decision they make seems to be taken on a whim, with little or no thought for the long-term consequences – for them or those around them.

But this time they have surpassed even themselves. They’ve pulled the children, Archie and Lilibet, out of their new prep school after just two days. Two days! Barely time for the poor mites to work out which peg is theirs and find their way to the loo – and already they’re being whisked away.

Security concerns around the school run, apparently. Ha. More like bad planning, as usual, coupled with Harry and Meghan’s characteristic impulsiveness. And, as some have pointed out, this time it might well work in their favour. 

After all, isn’t Ravec (the body that oversees VIP and royal security) currently ‘re-evaluating’ the Sussexes’ security status? The safety of the children would no doubt be an important consideration.

Either way, it’s done. The kids are moving schools and all the time, expense and effort that presumably went into preparing parents, children and staff at the first place for their arrival has now been wasted. The whole process will now have to be repeated elsewhere. 

Harry and Meghan have pulled their children, Archie and Lilibet, out of their new prep school after just two days

At the weekend, Meghan posted pictures of the family enjoying a day out in the British countryside on her Instagram account

As for Archie, seven, and Lilibet, five, their poor little heads must be spinning. 

Not only have they just been pulled out of the only life they’ve ever known in sunny California and dumped in the middle of the Cotswolds just in time for the English winter, they’ve now also had to endure all the stresses of starting a new school in a new country, only to have the rug pulled out from beneath them.

It’s one thing for Harry and Meghan to blindside their staff and other members of the Royal Family, as they have time and time again.

Only this summer, they suddenly announced their return, shocking everyone from the King down – he reportedly found out about their move the Sunday before they announced it.

But it’s quite another to do that to their own children. How anxiety-inducing must it be for poor Archie and Lilibet? Their parents’ behaviour has already excluded them from getting to know their cousins or having a meaningful relationship with their British relatives, and now this. What a mess.

Children look to their parents for stability and wisdom. Harry and Meghan are supposed to be the grown-ups – and yet they are behaving like children themselves, chopping and changing at the first sign of the slightest obstacle. Besides, kids understand so much more than we give them credit for. 

They will likely be feeling very scared and confused by this sudden decision, especially if they’ve picked up that it’s a security issue.

Talking of which, if the duke and duchess were really so worried about their own safety and that of the children, why would they post pictures of family life in their new countryside idyll? Isn’t that kind of thing completely counterproductive – and a gift to anyone with bad intentions towards them? 

There is no need for it, and it serves no purpose other than to expose them to unnecessary scrutiny and potentially attract unwanted attention.

She held Harry’s hand as they walked down a countryside path in footage posted on Instagram

No one in the Press has identified either the Sussexes’ new home or the children’s school, out of respect for their right to privacy and safety – and yet they themselves have strongly hinted at their location to anyone with even basic local knowledge.

That is no one’s fault but their own. And no doubt if, God forbid, something were ever to happen, the couple would blame everyone except themselves. It’s such classic Sussex denial.

One can only conclude that they are either very stupid or they like causing a melodrama.

Let’s not forget that time in New York in 2023 when they issued a dramatic statement claiming to have been involved in a ‘near-catastrophic car chase’ (a highly loaded term given Harry’s family history) which, on closer inspection, turned out to be them getting stuck in a traffic jam. Granted, they were snapped by a few paparazzi – but never in a manner that put anyone in any danger.

As for their school-run complaint, I won’t reveal the name of the establishment, but I have several friends whose children have attended that school over the years, and I would say two things. Firstly, it is a brilliant, very well-established institution, and more than capable of dealing with the security concerns of high-profile parents. Secondly, even the most cursory enquiries would have revealed its one and only disadvantage: the local traffic, which is famously murderous.

It’s so bad I have one friend who used to leave the house at 6.30am just to get her kids there on time. Houses within walking distance are fought over by millionaires and exchange hands for eye-watering prices.

Parents endure it because the school is so good. But it is notoriously a nightmare traffic-wise.

So why, if they were going to uproot the entire family and send their children there, didn’t the Sussexes check the practicalities of their decision with some of the few remaining friends and supporters they have in Britain?

After all, Princess Beatrice and her husband, Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi, own a six-bedroom converted farmhouse in the Cotswolds complete with ‘party barn’, tennis court and swimming pool, which they purchased in 2021 for around £3.5million.

Edo (as he’s known) attended schools in the area. By all accounts the Sussexes remain on very good terms with the Mapelli Mozzis. They would have been more than able to tell them the lie of the land and flag up any potential pitfalls concerning school runs.

Perhaps they didn’t bother to ask. Or perhaps the fact the decision to return to Britain was taken so on the hoof just meant there was no time.

It seems they did the dry run in August, when everyone is on holiday and the roads are relatively clear – which makes you wonder about the quality of some of the security advisers they’re using.

Or perhaps Prince Harry is just so used to the VIP treatment he simply forgot that as mere mortals there are no motorcycle outriders to clear the way through civilian traffic.

Well, all I can say is welcome to the real world, Sir. Not always as fun or as easy as it looks, is it?