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Let’s face it, summer is the high risk dressing season – the one most likely to add on years, sometimes pounds, occasionally both if you’re in the fifty plus age group.
I love summer but once you’re armed with a short list of items to avoid (talking of arms, watch those vests) it’s a lot more relaxing.
Here are the top 11 things that will automatically age you to watch out for in the coming months.
Linen
Who wouldn’t want a crisp floaty shirt, a pair of soft cool in the heat trousers? But the linen we like on the hanger, usually ends up looking like you slept in the back of your car (rule one: when you no longer have the baby face and smooth skin you up, up, up the polish).
There’s another disadvantage with linen: it’s sometimes just see-through enough to show the outline of your underwear, very much not desirable these days, plus linen does have a tendency to look a bit on the safe side. Never ever get an oversized white linen shirt – you’ll look like a lazy spa attendant. And avoid tailored linen trousers. Too elderly travel programme presenter.
Do: try creaseless linen, and if in doubt make it a boyfriend shirt.
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Upper Foot Exposure
Skinny straps on sandals, toe strap mules balanced on nib heels, low cut ballet pumps – the more exposed your foot is in summer shoes the higher the chances of suffering from eel foot (veiny and puffy). Note this can be every bit as bad in very flat shoes as in high heels.
Do: Look for more cover. A wide double strap style similar to the classic Arizona Birkenstock (it’s one of the reasons they stick around summer after summer) always works.
Mary Janes
You may have noticed that Mary Jane flats, velvet or suede or soft supple leather, are starting to look a lot like the shoe of summer – but beware. Several fashion savvy Fifty Plusers I know have bought a pair hoping to put a fresh spin on an old dress (they looked twee); reboot a jumpsuit (children’s TV presenter); or update jeans (too Amelie for comfort).
Do: try a flat soft leather pump with a high vamp.
Capri Pants
As you may be aware, the pink or white pedal pusher is a key building block of festival mum style (and anything that looks Mum equals ageing).
Women who were hitting their style stride in the Eighties are particularly partial to a pedal pusher or capri pant and the latter (a bit smarter) is sneaking up the fashion charts, but, unless you want to look like an extra in Grease (the original movie) steer clear.
Do: so long as they finish well below the knee, are tailored not clinging and not pastel this is a trend we can work with.
Vests
If you have Mobama arms get a vest with cutaway shoulders, good quality, ribbed, crew necked, and wear it whenever the weather allows. If you have normal civilian arms then avoid.
Do: wear a white vest under an open or half- buttoned up shirt. A white vest breaks up double denim nicely and looks great under a coloured boxy cardigan or boucle jacket.
White Denim Skirt
There are some items of clothing that might as well be stamped with the words Late Fiftysomething and Still Fit and the white denim skirt, pencil shaped, body con, knee length, is this.
The straight blue denim skirt is similarly only ever really worn by women over fifty, with trainers. No other section of the population goes near them so they do have the effect of shunting you into this age bracket when you could easily drop five years instead .
Do: try an A line below the knee skirt with a vent in front or a longer fly front style – and no trainers.
Half Sheer
Whether it’s a pencil skirt that’s opaque to mid thigh and see-through to ankle, or a midi dress that on closer examination is a mini slip under a sheer longer print dress – this is a midlife fashion trap.
You might think the half sheer look was having your cake and eating it: leg baring with half the exposure, modesty with a wink. Oddly, however, on a Fifty Pluser it looks a bit apologetic and Miss Havisham, not to mention messy.
Do: wear dresses or skirts featuring a sheer layer over a solid colour, to add movement and interest.
Crochet
I passed on my flattering cream crochet midi dress when I turned 50, because I started to feel three kinds of wrong in it. With crochet you get the underwear issue (on show nude slip, not good these days); the whiff of Woodstock (beware boho looks rather than a suggestion of it); plus the unwelcome reminder of your granny’s tea cosy (not so cute when you could be a granny yourself).
Dresses that are also ageing and that I have discarded in the last two years are anything with a wrap front (old news); anything bias cut (ditto); and anything with a cherry print. As of now my only go to print is stripes, spots, leopard or tortoiseshell (summer leopard).
Do: Try open white work tops that call themselves crochet but are really heavy duty lace. There’s a world of difference.
Tight White Jeans
Blame Liz Hurley, even if the prevailing fashion is for looser, wider-legged jeans or trousers, when the sun comes out the women of Britain think Hot Hurley, in body-con Persil white bootcuts, worn over wedges with a tight low cut top.
This Club 55 Saint Tropez look never really gets old in the SOF but it’s ageing on your average Fifty Pluser, Hurley company excepted (she is a swimwear model after all).
Do: wear loose off white jeans with a tucked in, or cropped to the waist, black top. Very chic for the office and evening.
Brights
Some say the brighter the better in summer. Still there is a period between roughly 50 and roughly 75 when you need to up your colours if you want to look healthy, but limit brilliant tropical shades if you want to avoid looking like a Miami retiree.
Dame Mary Berry carries them off but looks easily her best in ice pink, not the Barbara Cartland shade. The ones to watch are tequila sunrise orange, canary yellow, parakeet green and Maldivian turquoise. Never wear bright prints unless on holiday.
Do: wear lots of colours but err on the softer side (aqua green) or go the sherbet route (ice pink and apricot sorbet).
A floral print dress and trainers
Sad to see the floral print frock and trainers go, but it’s now well and truly the frumpy summer uniform.
This summer the alternative print is a clash of unexpected colours – a red dress with a bright blue bag or a lavender cardigan. On your feet suede sandals or a low slingback.
Do: save trainers-bright ones-for trousers.
